“Ignoring a man’s disrespect is the
surest guarantee it will continue.”
– Rhonda Cort
My girlfriend Janie in Italy told me a story last week that will shock you…
Janie was on Skype with her cousin Pamela Miami. Pamela was getting ready for a
date with a gorgeous man…He was picking her up at 7:00 pm.
At 7:15, Janie asked if Pamela was going to phone the guy to see where he was.
Pamela said, “No.”
7:45 pm, Janie asked again if she was looking out or if she was going to call him.
“No,” Pamela’s answer was the same. She continued chatting like nothing happened.
At 8:00 pm, Pamela’s doorbell rings. She asks Janie to hold on.
Thirty seconds later, Pamela returns and starts chatting like nothing happened.
Perplexed, Janie asked what happened. Wasn’t Pamela going on her date? “No,”
“Well, what happened?” asked Janie.
“I asked him what kind of woman he thought I was showing up
an hour late. I threw the flowers at him and closed the door.”
Okay, that was a bit dramatic and over-the-top. I don’t recommend you doing that, but
I DO admire the woman.
She was not going to be treated like she nor her time were not valuable. She was not
going to tolerate poor treatment from a man. From the day one. (Just so you know, the
guy had no viable excuse. He was just late.)
My friend Janie always says, “You’ve got to train a man how to treat you.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Pamela trained men to treat her well — from the very start.
Here’s a list of 17 disrespectful, low quality man behaviors.
It is far from exhaustive, but a good starting point:
1. 50/50 relationships (he keeps track of everything so you pay and do your ‘fair share’)
2. He asks you you pay on a first or the first few dates (Sorry! I’m old-fashioned. If he
starts off that way…your entire relationship will be that way)
3. Being late with no excuse (A great excuse for me is being in the hospital or dead)
4. Not showing up at all (No, I don’t care if he phones the next day or week. Next!)
5. Constantly cancelling dates and rescheduling (What are you 3rd choice?)
6. Lying about his whereabouts
7. Lying about seeing other women
8. Sarcastic remarks that put you down
9. Teasing you about your weight, intelligence or looks
10. Hungrily staring at or making sexual comments about other women
11. Asking you to pay on a date he invited you on
12. Flirting with other women
13. Making promises he doesn’t keep
14. Telling you one thing, and doing another
15. Being caught in bed with another woman
16. Always asking you for money when you go out
17. Introducing you as a friend — when you are his girlfriend
There are DOZENS more…
Many are so subtle, they don’t seem disrespectful at all.
So here’s a question to ask when you are in doubt.
When a man does [you fill in the behavior], how do you FEEL?
If you feel upset or disrespected, then NO ONE has the right to say you’re too sensitive.
You may very well be, but those are your feelings.
They are valid.
OK my dear?
Each woman’s situation is different, so it’s impossible to give precise advice on how to
handle your situation.
However, making a list of behaviors you feel are disrespectful is the first step to
claiming your value and raising your worth. With yourself and in the world.
In the future, I’ll share some practical strategies to being The High Value Woman.
Including how to dismiss disrespectful behavior in a classy manner.