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The High Value Woman™

{Podcast 7} How a High Value Woman Deals With Breakups and Divorce

“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”
– Janet Fitch

For too long, women have carried shame and guilt from divorce. We feel like a failure if our relationship ends.

On today’s HVW Wisdom podcast, you’re going to discover how to stop feeling bad or like a failure because of your divorce or breakup.

Discover my simple 4-step proactive method to break free from the emotional trap we allow breakups and divorce to build around us…

Your Next Steps…

Take 60 seconds to share your opinion in the comment area below. Did you hate it? Did you love it? Did you have an ‘aha’ moment?

Then share this with women you care about. Too many ladies carry shame and guilt over breakups and divorce. It’s time for us to release the old and embrace a new way of being!

Let’s encourage our sisters, aunts, mothers, daughters, coworkers and girlfriends to be high value women.

With love and in service,

rhondafirma

Rhonda “Love Intelligently” Cort

P.S. Are you new to our international tribe of high-achieving women? Enter your email address in the form in the column on the right for instant access to your free gift “4 Ways to Instantly Show You’re a High Value Woman.”

 

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16 comments… add one
  • Anne

    Outstanding! You are a woman of excellence! Thank you!

    • Rhonda

      You’re welcome Anne! Women of excellence recognize each other.

  • Hannah

    Hi Rhonda, I absolutely love this podcast. I especially loved the part about using gratitude to honor the lessons you’ve learned in the relationship- I think this will personally help me going forward knowing this lesson, because I used to feel a lot of pain about relationships or friendships ending. Now that I’ve started reframing them as lessons and fun moments shared with another, instead of something that was supposed to last forever and “failed,” I feel more confident about getting out there and just having fun and building memories with others- without stressing about the end goal of a permanent relationship. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight on this matter!
    -Hannah

    • Rhonda

      Hannah,

      You’re welcome. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you! I trust you are well. It’s perfectly normal, natural and okay to feel pain when a relationship ends. If we don’t, it never meant much to us in the first place. The crippling and self-destructive part is viewing the breakup as a failure—instead of a lesson in growth. I love that you brought up the point about just having fun, building memories and not stressing about the end goal. The goal is to learn, grow and become MORE of the high value woman you were meant to be while inspiring him or her to do the same. It’s impossible to do it in a vacuum. We need relationships for that reason.

      xx,
      Rhonda

  • Ellen

    Hi Rhonda!

    Thank you for this great podcast. I just ended a relationship that I should have walked away from years ago. I am finally becoming a High Value Women (a work in progress for sure). I was feeling very alone and second guessing myself until I heard this podcast. I realize now that many lessons were learned during this relationship and I am sure many more to come.
    Feeling much more alive and able to receive today!

    • Rhonda

      Ellen,

      You’re very welcome. Thank you for sharing. Your story will support other tribe members in the same situation right now. The fact is you were ALWAYS becoming a High Value Woman because as you said, it is a work in progress. The difference today is that you now realize it and you are proactive about it. Congratulations! Take those lessons and go forth into the next level of relationships you are here to receive.

      Love,
      Rhonda

  • Helge

    Dear Rhonda, I really enjoyed listening to your podcast. I really did feel like a failure after my last relationship failed and I still think of this man as I thought we were a great match and there where so many good things between us. How can I move onto a new relationship as he was my biggest love so far?
    Love, Helge.

    • Rhonda

      Dear Helge,

      I know exactly how you feel. Give yourself sufficient time to grieve the relationship and regain your sense of self. Some women feel the need to see a therapist for a few sessions to talk things out. Others seek counseling to work through the tough bits… Be sure to move forward. Do not get stuck in the past or in therapy. Too many women are in therapy for years and see little improvement!

      After a particularly painful breakup, I gave myself 6 months to grieve, receive the lessons, regain my sense of self and uplevel as a high value woman. After 6 months, I made myself go out on dates. Even when I didn’t feel like it. You know what? I was wined, dined, gifted spa days and treated like a queen. I had a fabulous time!

      HVW WISDOM: Upgrading your social circle while meeting new men is just as much a part of the healing process as time spent grieving.

      If you feel stuck, ask a girlfriend to keep you accountable. For more rapid results, join a program or start working with a mentor.

      Know that no one can ever ‘take the place of someone else.’ What you had with him is special. It always will be. It’s okay to feel sad about it. As time moves forward, you’ll start meeting more amazing men. One day, you might wake up in a relationship so amazing, you thank your lucky stars the last one ended 😉 It has happened to me (more than once) and women all over the world. Hind sight is 20/20. Such is the nature of love, relationships and growth.

      HVW WISDOM: You must let go of the lower to receive the higher.

      That could be a NEW relationship with your former love. (You don’t want the OLD one. It was broken and has run it’s course for a reason.) If you two are meant to be together, you will eventually come back together. But it will never happen if you don’t let go of what once was. If you are not meant to get back with your ex and you go through the process of cleaning and clearing, a marvelous, better suited man will enter your life.

      Love,
      Rhonda

      • Helge

        Dear Rhonda, I was very impressed by your answer. You knew exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much! All the best for you! Love, Helge.

        • Rhonda

          You’re welcome Helge…xx

  • Amanda

    Hi Rhonda
    thanks for your great pod cast; i have recently been separated from a 15 year marriage. My husband hit a midlife crisis and an affair. Shortly after separation i started a new relationship which was going well until things started to heat up and he began to get very needy. I have backed away now. But now my husband wants a reconciliation and now my focus has become cloudy to what i want and need.
    is it wise to go back to the old ? how do you know if you should go back and try again?

    I love your podcasts Rhonda they are very rewarding.

    • Rhonda

      Amanda,

      Thank you for bravely sharing your situation. Since I have not worked with you, I don’t know your full situation. This is not something to take lightly, so I cannot answer in a comment. However, I can suggest some actions to take; then you decide what’s best for you.

      1) First, take time to be on your own (no ex, no dating, no men, no opinions from family and friends) and reclaim yourself as a woman. How long? I cannot say. You will know. This can support you in getting SOME clarity. Yet, often that is not enough. You can’t see what you can’t see. 2) Consider getting professional support. You may need support from more than one person. A WORD OF ADVICE: When selecting someone, go with the person who challenges you, gets you to see things differently, asks you to step outside your comfort zone…NOT the person you “feel comfortable with” or “tells you what you want to hear.”

      I wish you all the best!
      Rhonda

  • sue

    good

  • Shoshana

    That was really beautiful… I am so happy that you shared your belief on separation I feel much better about the failures… May I ask a question… some men may value you more than other men…I’ve been looking for the man that I also respect and value. I have strong boundaries and am beginning to think maybe I am too strong… How can I tell?

  • Barbara

    Rhonda, I can’t begin to tell you how much you are helping me. I have a history of bad men that have hurt me in different ways. I’m 56 and have been seen a wonderful man, he’s the best thing that’s happened to me. Treats me so well, he’s perfect and has made me 10 xs the woman I am now through his patience, love and understanding. No, he has told me he loves me. The only problem, he emotionally unavailable 14 months ago the woman he loved died and he says he can’t commit and I need his committment to be happy, I can wait for more. I fear that if he don’t love and want to commit after a year he won’t ever. I think I will be better if that happens because of you and this lesson. But, oh Rhonda I do love this wonderful man. Barbara

  • Donna

    I love your podcast.
    Step number 4 is so beautiful!

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