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The High Value Woman™

{Podcast #1} How to Keep Your Power (& Not Lose Yourself) in Relationships


Power is like being a lady…if you have
to tell people you are, you aren’t.

~ Margaret Thatcher

Have you ever ‘lost yourself’ in a relationship? Have you let men ‘hijack’ your confidence in the past (or present)?

Have you found yourself showing up as the ‘plain vanilla’ version of yourself—because you were a tad bit intimidated—or felt a bit less than?

Never again.

Discover 5 rules to show up as a high value woman—and avoid losing yourself in relationships. 


Pardon the static. I decided not to re-record it since I was ‘in my flow.’ We’ll make sure there’s none in the next one.

Iconic Woman Adventure of the Day

Step 1: Own & Share

Which of the 5 steps do you find most challenging?

Take a moment to share it with me in the comment area below. Feel free to ask a question or share your opinion.

You’re a member of the High Value Woman tribe and your opinions matter.

I read each one. I’ll respond personally to as many as I can.

Step 2: Energize & Empower 

I believe in the power of music. Listen to the song that corresponds with your top challenge. (I list them in the podcast)

Shake, shimmy and sing-along. Around the house or in the shower 🙂  It’s your choice. You’re the diva.

Even if it’s not your kind of music. Just be playful and do it. Your energy will shift at the shake of a hip!

Visit the P.S. to request details on the upcoming Iconic Woman one-month rapid transformation progam.

With love and in service,


Rhonda “Keep Your Power” Cort

P.S. Request details about our upcoming “Iconic Woman” rapid transformation program here.


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22 comments… add one
  • Hannah

    Rocking out to “Upgrade You” this morning 🙂 Thanks for the insightful message, Rhonda!

    • Rhonda

      Good for you Hannah! I love it when I hear from you. Glad you’re still on the path of the High Value Woman. Lots of love!

  • Sandra

    The one that is difficult for me is” put a ring on it”…I jumped in all eager to be with this man, ready to spend the rest of my life with him…trying so hard to make it work …now 26 years later I am so lonely,tired and discouraged…but finding it so hard to walk out.nn1

    • Rhonda

      Sandra, I’m not clear on your situation. Have you been in a relationship for 26, and you’re not married (but wanted to be)? I can understand you’re finding it hard to walk away. If that is the case, ask yourself if you’re willing to spend the next 5, 10 or 15 years that way.

      1. GO spend time ALONE thinking about what you TRULY DESIRE your life to look and feel like. (Set aside the desires of anyone else in your life. The focus is on YOU)
      2. ASK yourself who you have to be in order to have that life? Make a list of her traits.
      3. TAKE the first step to start “getting yourself back” by embodying the first trait. For example, if you’re people-pleaser, start saying NO. It could be something small, like saying NO to going out when you don’t want to—instead of giving in.
      4. REMEMBER there’s no such thing as a “self-made” woman. I learned this the hard way. I wasted years trying to do things on my own. You need other high value women and men who will support you in moving on. That is why I am ALWAYS investing in masterminds, coaches and mentors. Left to my own devices, I’d backslide 🙂

      I wish you all the best Sandra!


      • Sandra

        Wow, great advice, thanks so much…(I’m 55 and been married for 26 years…)

        • Rhonda

          You’re welcome Sandra! Glad to have an amazing woman like you in our tribe.

  • Rhonda

    I’m having difficulty right now with the “irreplaceable ” topic here. I’m attempting to move on from a relationship that I had to leave. because I didn’t get what I wanted from it. It’s really difficult because I’m faced with having to see this man, who keeps telling me he loves me, throughout my week. I Need this program!😂 Thank you Rhonda!

    • Rhonda

      Dear Rhonda,

      What a fabulous name you’ve got! 😉 I know how difficult it must be to move on when you see him on a regular basis. His over-sharing makes matters worse. I don’t know why you have to see him. I assume you work for the same company or live in the same building. If you absolutely must see him, you need to set CLEAR, STRONG boundaries.

      1. Let him know that it is NOT okay to share his feelings with you.
      2. Let him know what IS acceptable communication.
      3. Do not give mixed signals. CUT OFF all communication outside the essential.

      A lot of our suffering is caused by lack of communication. Start with these 3 steps and let me know how it goes.

      Much love,

  • Tricia

    Clever podcast Rhonda! ThankYou for this! I just listened to the 5Beyonce songs you recommend. Very nice.

    • Rhonda

      Good for you Tricia. They quickly elevate your mood!

  • Rose

    The hardest one for me is to show him you upgrade him, this is not a small idea
    thank you for sharing;)

    • Rhonda

      Rose, while it’s not a small idea…it’s very easy once you know yourself. Your TRUE self. You show up naturally in all your brilliance, savvy and feminine essence. When you speak. He notices. When you share your wisdom. He marvels. We ladies can be so busy trying, we forget to just BE.

      ~ Rhonda

  • Martie

    I’m important and want to share and upgrade my values

  • Mathilde

    I dont know which is the hardest to me.
    Guys love me at first and then they take me for granted and they dont want to comit.
    And it allways ends with the feeling that im not valuable enough.

  • Hey Rhonda.. thank you for this great piece of advice.. the references are very well chosen.. I am Abdhi (from India and I am nearing 20 years..) the problem that I am facing in my relationship is that whenever I want to talk to my man about something that I desire which he feels wrong, like visiting my girlfriend’s place, and I try to tell him that I disagree with him, there is a massive argument that takes place which goes beyond my control because of shouting and I tend to give in.. what should I do.. how do I tackle the situation?? Rhonda please help me with this…

  • Abdhi De

    Hey Rhonda.. thank you for this beautiful piece of advice… in my relationship, when I express my desire and my man dislikes it and I try to tell him that it’s not anything bad that I want like, visiting my girlfriend’s place… it leads to a massive argument and due to all the shouting, I always tend to give in after which I don’t feel good but I am forced to Pretend that, that’s what I wanted… What should I do to tackle these situations and not feel intimidated by my man..?? Rhonda, please help…nn1

  • Obinna

    Dear Rhonda
    I love your blog! I desperately need to upgrade a few things as I really feel like I am throwing myself away. I’m a pretty and accomplished woman in my early 40s. However, I am too accepting of people and it’s causing problems. I am currently dating a man who is dragging me down in a big way. And this is a pattern for me. This man is actually quite accomplished in terms of his career but he is pessimistic, socially awkward, very unattractive, hesitant and has a major case of Victim Mentality. He is what is known as a Beta Male. On our 3rd date he announced that all the other women he’d tried to date suddenly refused to see him again, or even blocked his number on their phone, after one or two dates. He seems to totally take me for granted and not appreciate me. Unfortunately he has taken to putting me down constantly in order to make him feel like he is on my level. On a daily basis he will send me articles he hopes will ‘put me in my place’ — articles about how educated women will struggle to find a man, or about how women in their 40s are being overlooked for younger women. The aim is to make me feel I can’t do any better than him. On our last date he said: “it must be hard for you now you are getting older, I’m sure you used to turn a lot of male heads and now you have to come to terms with ageing.”

  • Amanda

    I was recently divorced. When my husband and I separated I met someone I fell for really hard. He was an alcoholic. Which after a year I found this out. Things just were up and down between us. I let him get away with things. We stopped seeing each other and then started seeing each other. I’m so hurt from this whole experience. I feel like I never want to be in that place again. I never want to care about someone like that again. I feel like this man used me, and I let him. I was at an already weak point and I guess I didn’t see it coming. I wanted to believe in him. But really I needed to believe in me. I want a relationship, but I find it hard to trust anyone after what happened. Right now we aren’t talking, and part of me feels absolute rage and anger over this. I’m angry at myself, and I’m angry that I could fall for someone so selfish.

  • Bea

    Hi Rhonda! Love your posts! I feel like I suddenly have found an older sister… Thank you so much for all that wisdom and love you are sharing with us! <3

  • Jen

    Hi Rhonda! The podcast is a great message. Personally, I would love to be iconic too, but I find myself unsure how to do this. I was with a man who I thought was perfect, but ultimately he only desired my friendship. This left me in a bad state, and I’m working on me right now. I look forward to learning and growing. 🙂

  • Barbara

    Hi Rhonda, I am having a harder time with number 3, put a ring on it or walk. I’m 56 and seen a man I’m totally in love with. I feel like I’ve met by soul mate He treats me well. The problem, he’s the first man that I’ve had a problem standing up to. If a man didn’t treat me well or give me what I felt I deserved I walked and didn’t look back. I tried that for 5 weeks, worse 5 weeks of my life, I called him begging for another chance. He has my live and respect and knows it. It’s been a year, as far as I know I other woman he holds back emotions I won’t commitment, last time I said something about 7 months ago, he says he can’t committ to me Should I still give more time Just today I said to myself if he can’t committ after a year there’s no love for and one day he will meet someone and I’ll be history. Please help me. I love him so much but feel I’m loosing my value containing to give time without the commitment I want. I’m not pushing for anything else at the moment What should I do? Thank you , Barbara

  • marta

    the one difficult for me is to inspire him . in getting what i deserve

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